Back (or Still) in the Game: (Ab)Normal Questions to ask on a First Date!
First dates are eerily like job interviews. They make you anxious, you have to dress to impress (if that’s your thing), and if you’re like most people you’d prefer to learn everything you possibly can in a minimal amount of time in order to confirm or deny a second date. So like job interviews, it’s best to come prepared with questions. You don’t have to bring a pad and paper however identify the top three most important qualities you are seeking in someone.
Equally so, identify the top three issues you are not willing to compromise on when it comes to compatibility. For example, I personally don’t tolerate Trumpism, Homophobia, or Classism with whomever I choose to date. That person and I would have a hard time going to sleep next to one another in this political and social climate. But then there are those questions we don’t think to ask. These questions may be for a second date but for the brave, they’ll save you from falling for someone who in the long run may make you want to check into the head doc.
In no particular order:
- Are you currently untreated for mental illness? It’s harsh but it’s relevant. Hey, we’re not being “mental-health-ist” but untreated mental disorders (especially if you suffer from mental illness yourself) can lead you into dark places mentally and spiritually. Full transparency, I’m bi-polar and untreated so I should probably get that checked before I try to swoon anyone.
- Do you want kids? No seriously, not like do you want to tell me you want kids in this moment because I’m freakin hot and you’re hoping to get some play at the end of the night, but like do you want to wipe baby asses and give up some if not at all of your freedom at some point? (Also see: Do You have kids?)
- Are you polyamorous? If you are this is definitely a question you want to ask, however if you’re not you also want to ask this question. Unless you’re open to the idea of the poly lifestyle often times monogamous people have a hard time to adjusting to the idea of sharing their intimate partner.
- Immigration Policy, Social & Political Beliefs, Child Rearing and Discipline Approaches, Women’s Rights, Feminism….ahhhhh you get the point. These topics have consistently ruined any occasion. Why not start with the first date so there’s no time wasted?
- Do you like to kiss? Not only will this stir up some pheromones if there’s a mutual attraction, but it’ll save you from a future awkward moment. Personally, I’m a kisser so I can’t compromise here. The more tongue and lip action the better.
- How much time do you expect to spend with someone you’re actively pursuing? Some people have a lot of time on their hands. Some have none. Your expectations can curve your level of satisfaction in a relationship and if one of you needs more attention than the other it can be a recipe for fruit cake. Sorry I’m high.
- If LGBTQ, are you out to your family and/or friends? I don’t have to explain why this is important do I? If so, inbox me. Seriously.
- PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Are you into it or naw? To what extent? In front of whom? Again, refer to Question No. 7: Are You Out?
- Are you in the military or the Big Top Circus? Let’s face it. Long distance relationships aren’t for everyone. However some people prefer them due to the need for personal space and/or their own career or travel engagements. If you’re the overly-jealous/possessive type: (1) work on that and (2) long distance ain’t for ya.
- Do you smoke Cigarettes and/or Marijuana? Most non-cigarette smokers do not prefer cigarette smokers. It’s science. Marijuana is usually compromisable amongst non-marijuana smokers however studies show that most non-marijuana smokers become nags about their partners love of the herbal necessity. (I made that up but it sounds good).
Now ask all those questions in a creatively-charming totally un-awkward fashion. Good luck!
Have a question that wasn’t on the list? Comment below and we’ll share it! Thanks for reading and be sure to follow Lezcronymz for extreme FUN: Fingering Understanding & Nature.
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